How Meeting Dr. Zibbs Changed My Life

Yeah, I've slacked. I haven't told any of you about the night I met Dr. Zibbs and how it changed my life. I promised him I would write all about it, of course it's 5 days later and old news. Yea, that's the kind of blogger friend I am. You all know it. As a matter of fact, the big joke of the evening between Zibbs and I was that I only post every three weeks.

Anyway, I was super psyched about writing the post the day after I met him, but then another day passed and another day passed and I figure it's not that important, Jdizzle and Dr. Zibbs summed it up quite nicely. And, I have no pictures to prove that I even met him! But today I check my Google Analytics account and I think I owe Zibbs a big apology. I'm no "Look at me, I have 100 followers and 500 blog posts and I'm bigger than Google", but damn look at this spike in unique visitors* in the days following the Epic Jedi Battle...

WOO HOO!!! TWELVE!!!

And then again...look at the traffic sources. It's the most referrals I've ever had from another blog!

If I was smart (and not in a hangover coma) I would have written my most thought provoking, prolific blog post ever the day after I met Zibbs. Then I would have every one's attention! (At least once every three weeks)

So, sorry Zibbs. I've underestimated your power and your ability to rock a wig.

But look, this is about meeting Dr. Zibbs not my Google Analytics spike and my raise in popularity due to the blogger meet up. I want everyone to go out and make a plan with Dr. Zibbs, he's not creepy at all. He's actually quite pleasant. Another topic of the evening was how uncreepy Dr. Zibbs was and how happy JDizzle and I were because that was true. I'm a Dr. Zibbs fan and you should be too.

*My vistor count is pathetic, I know.

'Tis the Season for Sufjan Stevens

I love this time of year for one specific reason. My hour and half drive to work gets much more bearable this time of year. Shortly before Thanksgiving I indulge in my guilty pleasure...Sufjan Stevens: Songs for Christmas! I will be indulging until the end of January (much to Brent's dismay). In addition to the album being on constant loop in my car, I will be proudly blaring it while I prepare the house for Christmas, during Christmas dinner and while I remove the Christmas decorations...and no body can stop me.

If you do not know the great works of Sufjan Stevens, you must go right now and buy it, any album will do, you'll love them all. I'll wait here.

Ok, did you pick up your album? Good...now go play it as loud as you can and wait for the euphoric feelings to wash over you like a warm cup of hot chocolate on a cold wintry day.

See, I told you it was good.

Sufjan started this album in 2001 with a group of friends and was released in 2006, compiling the old classics like Silent Night, We Three Kings, Jingle Bells, and O' Holy Night with some of his own Christmas flavor like Christmas in July, We’re Goin’ To the Country!, That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!, and Put the Lights on the Tree.

Asthmatic Kitty Records that produced this album says this about the creative process...

The recording process took place every December, for one week, usually at home, provoking collaborations with friends, roommates, and musical peers. Armed with a Reader’s Digest Christmas Songbook (and a mug of hot cider) Sufjan & friends concocted a musical fruit cake year after year, implementing every musical instrument they could find lying around the house: banjo, oboe, Casiotone, wood flute, a buzzy guitar, hand claps, sleigh bells, Hammond organ, and some tree tinsel.

I want to leave you with of one of my favorites, Sister Winter which is a Sufjan original. I don't know how to embed a song, so I found it on YouTube where someone had put the song to a still picture of Sufjan Stevens. I hope you enjoy this song as much as I do.

Dear Red States...

I didn't write this, I wish I did, but I want to share it. Found on Craigslist...

Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States

POS Follow Up

Remember the POS that tried to steal my camera that I posted about last week. Yeah, well I am pretty sure it is Sarah Palin. Here is her lastest email...

I was wondering if you sent the camera back to me. It was a mix-up. I
would like to send that one back the fuji company for repair. We are
excited about the new one you sent us. Our family has been under alot of
stress..My daughter just found out she is pregnant and has been so terribly
sick!. My daughter told me it was me who sent it back to you... I don't even
remember doing it! Sorry once again, if you need reimbursement for postage
let me know.

Between stealing my camera, Troopergate and teen pregnancy, how will we ever be able to trust her? Good thing we won't have it.

(POS did get her camera back. I sent it 1st class mail, no insurance and no declared value. YEAH! Take that POS! I'm such a rebel.)

Yup..there's a celebrity in my "family"

Don't be jealous. I know you are but really, don't be. I'll love you just the same even if you don't have a celebrity in your family. I say family, but really this celebrity is in Brent's family and may be one day, in the far distant future, maybe in another life...will be my "brother-in-law". Yikes, that's weird to say. Any who, Brent's brother Bryan is a contributing writer at Wired and he got to do is thing on Gadget Lab. He doesn't come in until minute 7, but WHOA does he blind us with science! In order to keep up with JDizzle and Dr. Zibbs celebrity rendezvous, here is the video. Feel free to fast forward to minute 7 unless you are really interested in the Motorola Razor then by all means, have at it.



You're jealous, just admit it.

Where's Judge Judy When You Need Her?

This is just despicable. No wonder I hate people. Recently Brent and I have been selling items on Amazon to make a little extra cash, a couple camera's and an old Xbox to be exact. So a couple years ago, Brent won a digital camera at his company's Christmas party. We never used it since the one we already had was better than the freebie. We never even took it out of the box. So we put it up for sale on Amazon. Clean as whistle, brand new, in the box with all accessories. I shipped to a woman who's name I am changing to "Piece of Shit" or "POS" for short. So "POS" received her camera last week and I got this email from her:

The camera I purchased does not work properly.

I thought it was batteries, so I purchased new batteries, that did not help. I then purchased a new picture card and that didn't seem to make a difference either...
The lens doesn't go in and out..it seems to be stuck.

I would like to send the camera back for a full refund..what is your return policy and method..

Thank you.

And I thought...hmmm..brand new camera doesn't work? That's weird. But being the good, trusting person that I am I told her to send it back to me, I was very sorry and I'd be happy to issue her a full refund.

So I get the camera back yesterday, pop some batteries in it and sure enough the lens is acting weird and the the camera is making a funny sound. But wait...this isn't my camera!! It had a crack on the side (obviously from droppage), scratches all over what used to be a nice new shiny camera body, there is dirt around the shutter button from grubby hippie hands taking pictures and the power button is well worn. And what's this?? The sticker that has the serial number that matches the box I sent it in is on top of another sticker with a different serial number! You "POS" hippie mother effer. To top it all off, I find this picture dated 12/9/07 stored in the camera.

So, no you little "POS" hippie mother effer, unless you can prove to me and we have agreed upon that there some strange time warp between where you and I live that damages items, turns time back a year and where you cut down Christmas trees in October, you are not getting a refund! So I send her this email with pictures of who I assume is her husband attached:

I received the camera today you sent back to me and I am sorry to tell you
that I will not be issuing you a refund. The camera you sent back to me is
obviously not the same camera that I sent you. The camera I sent you was
brand new, this camera has been dropped and has a crack on the side and many
scratches. Not only that, but there are pictures on this camera of a man
cutting down Christmas trees in the snow and the date states 12/9/2007 and
pictures of the same man cooking in a kitchen (please see attached). Also, I
believe you took the serial number sticker off of my camera and put it on
top of the serial number sticker on your camera so that it would match the
serial number on the box I sent the camera in.

The effing "POS" ordered my camera and thought she would send me back her broken camera, ask for a refund and get a free brand new camera. Listen you little "POS", you gotta get up pretty damn early to try to pull this shit over on me. Seriously, how stupid does she think I am?? Obviously pretty stupid, I guess. So I got this email from her this morning:

It was my daughter who package the camera and sent it to you....please send
the camera back and I will ask her if she mixed the cameras up...She had
the same camera and liked it so well...I believe that is why she wanted the same
one. This was not not done intentionally...I am sorry for any
inconvenience. Just please send it back and we will gladly pay for
it.

Sure...if you even have a daughter and she just unintentionally "mixed" up the serial number stickers. Give me a break "POS". If you have a daughter, you are even more despicable then I originally thought for blaming your little game of thievery on her.

I am going to send her the camera back because technically it is hers, but I am going to tell her to not even think about sending back my new camera to me because she is not getting an effing refund, no way, no how. Don't think I didn't document every email and take pictures of the broken camera she sent me. And if she bitches and complains to Amazon about getting her money back, I'm gonna sick this bitch on her...

Cutiest Little Puppy EVER!

I need a trampoline just for this very reason. Love it!